| | There is a stance in wushu that requires you to balance on leg, while looking as if your on two. You face forward, keeping your hips alinged with your shoulders, and thrust your right palm forward while keeping your left hand pack and closed as if it is picking a cherry. It is powerful and elegant and almost resembles a ying-yang. I think my life is like that stance.
I think my life is split right now between being a grad student and becoming socially accustomed to CA and UC Riverside. In my one palm I have the responsibilities of preparing to be a PhD student, the homework, studying, and general stress of class. In the other I have VSA, CMAC, and all of the friends I have. In the middle is me. Balancing, increasingly more painful. The more I hold this stance, the more difficult it becomes, and the more doubt I have. But also the more confident I get. However, at any point in time, I feel as though it could all come crashing down.
I guess that's what being attitude is. It's funny. It's crazy. It's bloody fun. I know I can fail, but 'I know that I can do it. The resolve of a Jedi.
<;~*|*~;>
I become so lost in thought about Shauni today that I almost collapsed. I actually took time to decide if I'm going to fall in love with her. It's so tempting, but also one of those stupid habits that I've certainly left behind. I wonder if this is normal, to think about a person, and not know what you want from them. I actually thought about how I do things. Told myself that there are women, more beautiful, interesting, and better fitting than she. And that succeeding in pursuing them would be more happy than almost fruitlessly going after her.
Oh wonder if I could create something with her. I have no Idea. I know she's going to do some amaing things, but I do to. The thing is I don't know who, between us, has more potential. because, you know, I'm beleiving in myself. Time will tell, and maybe I will put this up on one of my resolves.
Maybe afterwards, after we make this awesome thing. I'll make it my resolve to fall in love with her.
Only someone too romantic for his own good would enjoy that he makes simple things too complicated and difficult.
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| | Posted 10/23/2008 3:45 AM - 11 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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